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Empathic 

Love N Light

Our Blog

Collection of Journal Entries 

Bound, Gagged & Released!

Monday, December 15th, 2019

It was crazy, there I was standing on my own damn bed standing every bit of 5’4”, 165 pounds yelling at my ex-boyfriend who was 6’3” and almost 300 pounds. It had all come to an end, after the most eye opening 14 months and 17 days. As he yelled “Go back to your ex-husband.” I was baffled all I could say was get the fuck out my place and do it fast, the nerve of him to stand in someone else’s home and talk trash to them was beyond me but I should of known then all respect had been lost. My sister and nephew walked in and were shocked both of us raising our voices and as he grabbed his suitcase to leave. Instead of heading out he came back from the front door to yell in my face chin to forehead. It was done for good now, this was his third trip to DC after breaking up with me in haste back in October here it was December 1st!

The past few weeks I’ve been meditating, reading, writing, doing yoga and even an Ebo Sacrifice to clear my path in an effort to get back to me and cleanse myself of any thing sent to harm or to create chaos in my life. This morning I plucked an 8 of Swords in the reverse position. This card is typically known to carry frustration with the feeling of being bound and gagged. On the positive side it carries the energy of self-limiting beliefs, inner critic, releasing negative thoughts, open to new perspectives. Also, when the number 8 is present it carries the energy of balance and harmony. Mostly balance between the material and immaterial worlds like realism on the spiritual plane, and on the material plane, focus and achievement producing results. When the reversed 8 of Swords appears, it means important steps and changes in your life are coming after having made some careful assessments. Like I may be im finally ready to move beyond my fears. So today I will take time to re-examine my past to reflect on incidents or traumas from the past which haven’t been fully dealt with and resolved. You can do this too, think back and see if there is something that you need to work through. You may find it and find yourself feeling a thousand pounds lighter once you work through it. I mean this relationship showed me every time I was triggered that a trauma was being uncovered so I can take a higher road, a different prospective and or response in order to break the cycle. For me it was being vulnerable and trusting a man.

Most of our parents raised us to suppress our emotions. They didn’t use those exact words, of course it came out like, “Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve,” “That’s on you”, ”Suck it up,” “Stop that crying” or “Just deal with it.” We probably spend out entire childhood and at least most of our adulthood finding out that this method doesn’t work. Suppression is not managing emotions at least for myself it only leads to a long list of emotional triggers that cause us to lash out in unpredictable ways on unsuspecting, innocent, and potentially loving people in our lives. So you see recognizing these triggers and changing our reactions is what’s key to releasing old and negative energy. This was a karmic lesson for me to accept the transition from one Pinnacle to the next in life which is usually prepared for approximately two years in advance. There for I will likely make some life-altering decisions in marriage, job or career change, or any number of major changes in my character. With this tarot card in concluding 2019 strongly felt change internally as well as externally is the transition from the first to the second Pinnacle. Although the Reversed 8 of Swords represent being bound and gagged either by my lifes choices or being publicly shamed by a hurt ex, the karma and lesson in it was to release!!! 

On the 10's 

Wednesday, December 18th, 2019

So, as I write this, I was inspired by the number 10 today. First, I ​saw 1001 which means: your guardian angels are telling you to focus on your personal development. You are ready to start something new or end an old pattern or cycle, and this is the best time to explore and improve other aspects of yourself.” Then 1010 which signifies your personal development. It is also about your spiritual enlightenment and awakening. It signals the time for blessings and abundance if you will open your heart and mind to receive them. The universe is always conveying messages from Spirit through the angel numbers. So, to quiet my mind I decided to myself, let me read a few verses out of the bible given how the past few weeks had been hellish to say the least. When I cracked open the bible, Nehemiah 9:30-37 opened and read; “30 Yet You were patient with them for many years, and Your Spirit admonished them through Your prophets, but they would not listen; so You gave them into the hands of the people of the land. 31 But in Your great compassion, you did not put an end to them; nor did You forsake them, for You are a gracious and compassionate God.”

I began to reflect on the drive in to work what Karma did I endure this past year/few month. Then I thought what could my Karmic Debt be? Then I thought what were the Karmic Lessons I needed to learn from since so much had gone wrong this year. So right away I investigated what my Karmic Lesson is. In order to do that look at the letters in your name that represent a part of you that is there, the letters missing from your name represent that which is not.


In short, my lesson is that of number 7, mastering vulnerability! The same can be said for my relationships. I recently wanted something but could not properly cultivate it due to my inability to be vulnerable. I focused on every other area of my life exce​pt vulnerability as it related to trauma and betrayal, gaslighting and isolation. Like how to remember myself and my truth (much like the number 1 in numerology), allowing openness and intimacy. I must learn to be soft without the tendency to hide, from anything including conflict, from pressure to make decisions others prefer, to trusting others and being seen by others. I need to work on developing trust with myself in order to become more discerning. I made a lot of trauma choices like sabotaging an otherwise healthy relationship because I could not believe he loved me was the root cause of its demise. 


When the last three months of my relationship started to fail miserably I started to feel like my actions were warranted because I felt the hesitation in him. Old trauma wounds of betrayal surfaced, my defenses caused me to keep everyone at a distance, even friends, and relationships that do not truly feel whole and supportive due to the lack of vulnerability. My passive aggressive communication style left me resenting that he didn't contribute in the way I wanted him to. I began to grow resentful like in my last three consecutive relationships creating a source of mistrust for myself, not feeling confident in my own knowing and feeling disconnected from my intuition because I could sense the end but couldn't stop it. So, I am working on focusing solely on being morally whole and completely available for a companion/spouse. Now the thing about Karmic Lessons is that looking at the karmic lesson numbers and examine certain emotional, mental, and psychological traumas and how they can be worked through with compassion. This time I can say I got the lesson.

Lucky 7's

Thursday, January 2nd, 2020

I am feeling lucky as hell today as I considered what was on my heart to blog about and the number ‘7’ came to mind! Why, well because today is a ‘7’ day. '7' is the it is said to be the earth, .number of spiritual quests, secular professions, motivation toward goals with an energy and determination that is nothing short of zealotry.  Errybody knows ‘7’ is a lucky number. 


In Ancient Egypt, 12 was considered special and the Ancient Babylonians considered 60 the most meaningful number there was. These ancient civilizations based their mathematics and calendar around it that is why an hour has 60 minutes, and a minute 60 seconds. Now consider that there are 7 chakras, 7 days in a week, 7 colors in the rainbow, 7 Continents, 7 wonders of the ancient world including the human brain remembering up to but not more than seven items!


Today I woke up totally motivated and went running. Many of us hop (or crawl) out of bed and jump right in to the craziness of the day. During this mornings run I was able to listen to myself and what my soul is/has been yearning for. Going out in nature helped me ground myself which not only made me calm but motivated throughout the day can also lower pain levels, anxiety and depression according to "Scientists." What does that mean? That the Earth's negative potential can create a stable internal bioelectrical environment for normal function of all body systems. So, oscillations of the intensity of the Earth is important for setting the biological clocks regulating diurnal body rhythms, such as cortisol secretion.


I am grateful to myself for showing up day after day. IT’S hard balancing being a mom, friend, sister, aunt, cousin, employee, entrepreneur and manage to keep everything tidy and bills paid! I mean think about it, seems like we are struggling with time for ourselves. Like, I can recall telling family and friends. "Oh, I will be by" and never followed through. There are obvious symptoms to most of what we are experiencing, which lies in what stressors we allow to affect us, like acute stress, chronic stress and episodic stress which can be timed stress, anticipatory stress, situational stress and Encountered stress. So you see it's inevitable unless you align ones self. 


The past 2 weeks I’ve gotten back in to my spirituality connected rituals by getting up DUMB early. This way, I have time to run, journal, do yoga, meditate and watch the sun rising. In order to have abundance in anything I needed to be back in harmony or balance with myself. So, with all things considered my message to you is to STOP WAITING AND TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE! 

Mastering the Art of Waiting

Wednesday, January 15th, 2020

Today I plucked the 2 of Pentacles which represents multiple priorities, time management, prioritization and of course adaptability. Ironically, this card was plucked given I’ve been feeling fed up with waiting. I mean is there an art to waiting? In the upright position, this card shows that I am doing an excellent job of balancing these different priorities, and I can pretty much take on whatever life throws at me. Even if I am freaking exhausted! There is a breaking point though between coping with these demands and losing control and boy is it thin! I am finding it difficult to wait for things to materialize in my life because waiting usually means worrying: Did I do enough? I wish I hadn't done that. Will it happen and if so when? Should or could I have done more? I can't believe I said that.


The ability to need to manage my time, energy and resources carefully without losing balance is important. I had to stop, meditate and think do I have enough time or am I in a rush. Is it worth my time and effort; does it yield a return or not? There’s a saying, “You don’t have to be busy to get things done.” Sometimes taking a break is the most productive thing I can do for myself when nothing is going as I feel it should be while rushing from one thing to the next, with little downtime in between. It’s tough because I’ve been striving for equilibrium in life more so for the last 10 years honestly and boy do, I struggle with my growing impatience and negative feelings. Feelings more so towards myself because of my growing impatience. Am I really the type of person who couldn’t just chill for another year of my life for a house, a better job, a loving relationship, a vacation or to simply just to be without obligation, without growing incomprehensibly frustrated?


Apparently, yes. Even worse it’s a club to which, increasingly, most of humanity belongs. I’ve spent enough time bouncing around social media to know that most people are bemoaning the lack of fulfillment in their lives while pursuing goals  perceived to bring fulfillment. “Studies have shown that 32 percent of consumers abandon slow sites between one and five seconds,” and if that’s true for websites what does this mean for those who’ve exhausted patience and time towards the pursuit of a house, a better job, a loving relationship and a vacation? Those are pretty assed up statistics about our inability to wait for anything and just about humanity as a whole. Waiting is unfulfilling, pointless at times, useless and less valuable in an on-demand universe. The world is fast while becoming faster, faster, faster these days. That’s the current reality, and it’s not going anywhere. Leaving a page that isn’t loading isn’t a character fault; it’s smart and the same can be said for someone dragging their feet about you. In a world where you can get information everywhere and faster the only way to somewhat sanely get by is by pacing yourself. As you wait by doing things well and of value should makes people wanna stick around but the are you fulfilled or still waiting to feel fulfilled? 


In short, I am remaining patient in the face of the universe despite wanting to run ahead of Spirit so many times. I’ve learned I can only be truly effective when I trust Spirit while waiting for answers. This life of mine makes me pause a lot and I often feel held-up by mundane things, people and situations so when life is hard, the time on hold is harder to swallow. Today my spirit was consumed with frustration thinking long and hard at my life overall. Just then I received a text from my Army buddy which was, 2nd Corinthians verses 5-7 which read “Walk by faith, not by sight.” The essence of faith is believing without seeing so, I will ground myself, meditate for direction and rest in the fact that by letting go of worry I will let go of all things that aren’t gravitating towards me while trusting that in time i'll eventually cultivate the peace, stability and predictability in life I aspire to have for peace of mind. So mote it be, ASE! 

Here's a 5! Cool, i'll take the change!

Monday, January 27th, 2020

OK so here I was per the usual waiting for inspiration for my next blog entry to fall on me like an anvil. I mean I could create a blog entry every day, but would it be quality, value, and would it be worth reading? Just then I stopped the prayer I’d been listening to at my desk through my ear buds this morning. My heart and mind were struck with conviction as he said you're leveling up, the pain that you've gone through is worth the beauty you're birthing! Bayyybee! When I tell you! (in my best comedic Monique Voice) The pain I endured was more pressure than a diamond and a crock-pot!


You see I needed reassurance that I am in fact full of light and that I am doing the right things to attract abundance in life, love, family, home and career. After speaking with other Light-workers like myself to check my chakras and perform readings for me as a precaution to double check myself I felt empowered, the information was on point. As a reader at times we get stalker cards or false reads or even worse we vibrate so low our aura field is susceptible to attack. I wanted to make sure I was making the right choices going forward since I’m not getting any younger. In short, sometimes its hard to see where the universe is taking you. I have kicked and screamed the entire time at times trying to control outcomes.


Today is a ‘5’ day, sewing the seeds of change today for a better tomorrow. Five carries the energy of change, adaptability, freedom-loving, romance, resourcefulness, whit, fun-loving, curiosity, flexibility and accommodation. Cease the day and embody the ‘5’. Eye know Eye will, today is a special date that will forever be etched in my mind as I relinquish things that no longer serve me like self-doubt, other people’s judgments and expectations! Popped my ear buds back in on 639 Hz....love and abundance frequency with God numbers! (devilishly grins while thinking....) Who can stop us?!

Keep Talkin'

Thursday, April 2, 2020

OK so here I was per the usual waiting for inspiration for my next blog entry to fall on me like an anvil. I mean I could create a blog entry every day, but would it be quality, value, and would it be worth reading? Just then I stopped the prayer I’d been listening to at my desk through my ear buds this morning. My heart and mind were struck with conviction as he said you're leveling up, the pain that you've gone through is worth the beauty you're birthing! Bayyybee! When I tell you! (in my best comedic Monique Voice) The pain I endured was more pressure than a diamond and a crock-pot!


You see I needed reassurance that I am in fact full of light and that I am doing the right things to attract abundance in life, love, family, home and career. After speaking with other Light-workers like myself to check my chakras and perform readings for me as a precaution to double check myself I felt empowered, the information was on point. As a reader at times we get stalker cards or false reads or even worse we vibrate so low our aura field is susceptible to attack. I wanted to make sure I was making the right choices going forward since I’m not getting any younger. In short, sometimes its hard to see where the universe is taking you. I have kicked and screamed the entire time at times trying to control outcomes.


Today is a ‘5’ day, sewing the seeds of change today for a better tomorrow. Five carries the energy of change, adaptability, freedom-loving, romance, resourcefulness, whit, fun-loving, curiosity, flexibility and accommodation. Cease the day and embody the ‘5’. Eye know Eye will, today is a special date that will forever be etched in my mind as I relinquish things that no longer serve me like self-doubt, other people’s judgments and expectations! Popped my ear buds back in on 639 Hz....love and abundance frequency with God numbers! (devilishly grins while thinking....) Who can stop us?!

Karmic Bullshit & Doshic  Balance  

Thursday, April 23, 2020

Greetings everyone, of course I only blog when I have something to contribute with the New Moon in Taurus and let me tell you I have A LOT! However, you and I know it’s best to keep it simple to keep your audience’s attention! Now on with the order of business. So, of course I read tarot cards and as of the last full moon which bought about some changes that frankly caught me completely off guard in matters of the heart with my twin flame being on the fence with me and his Karmic it’s been rough. Since like most empaths I’m familiar with, are also going through cycles and rebirths therefor I’ve begun to go within to restore my spirit. Every day you make a choice to enter in to an energetic connection with everyone you meet or build a bond with which at times may result in "Tower Moments" as we say in tarot (represents pivotal moments where everything is falling apart. You might unexpectedly lose a job, or get dumped, or have a massive fall out with your family- something of this nature).


As a collectively with this last cycle ending Karma from the last eight years and this upcoming Taurus Moon we'll all be forced to address our wounds (like abandonment, emasculation, emotional neglect, being bullied, not being heard, being left) placing pressure on our third eye and crown charkas. Of course, I’m used to healing myself from every experience that I have gained wisdom and gray hairs ultimately going within. In going within I’m learning my triggers, what to eat for optimal mental heath performance as well as tapping in to more spiritual practices that allow me to develop a diverse set of healthy coping mechanisms as well as counteract mental and cellular damage related directly to stress. I chose to breakdown my Ayurvedic mind-body type and by that, I mean balancing my whole-body’s healing system. Do you know what Ayurvedic discipline would work best for you?


Usually when things are going on, I need to be made aware of I experience dreams that are often very insightful tying back to my natural Doshic constitution. Some of us have more Vata dreams and others more Pitta and others more Kapha but not dreaming at all obviously due to an imbalance going on within. With  shedding low vibration energies and toxic relationships i've learned to take a step back and not take it so personal because some are lessons while others are distractions to shape your character and bring you to your life purpose and destiny. I am working on improving my sleep and over all systematic health as I lay the foundation for second year of my third Pinnacle of Life. With all karama or karmic ties cut we can deeply heal and refocus and embrace a new cycle of life and im ready to move! Yall ready!?

8 Querencia In Self-Love

Tuesday. October 6, 2020

It’s been 5 months since I last posted, 5 being the number of changes coupled with this Covid-19 stuff. Things have definitely changed. I felt inspired to compose this blog entry titled 8 Querencia In Love. Now, let’s break this down….”8” represents domination, control, achievement, material success, justice, balance, cycles, karma and past lives and if turned sideways is the infinity symbol​. The root word for querencia is ‘querer’ meaning to want and ‘quaerere’ to seek, gain, obtain, ask. Querencia actually means taking a defensive stand drawing from one's inner strength; where one feels at home being your most authentic self. I often find after relationships we are left transformed, in many ways by love as for me I grew stronger in my individuality. For years I’d felt stifled by jobs, bonds and relationships that killed my natural ability to be uniquely me.


Three days ago, as I was journaling I received a text from my bestie of 23 years. It was a song on Youtube by Freddy Jackson called Look Around. I noticed the song was posted 8 years ago with 88k views. The lyrics so melodic seemed to float on the current of weed and slightly stagnant air while smoking. These words resonated with me most, “Look around, baby, baby. Oh darling, baby. Love is a feeling you're looking for….” You see I am also guilty of such and through my experiences I've come to realize you don’t look for love, love comes to you, love can be a feeling experienced in the moment but also...love is an emotion manifested by acts of love and felt in that moment.


Human psyche and behavior dictate disingenuous forms of love through learned behavior that lead to expectations which if we simply accept that we are infinite individual energies, having a human experience, connecting with one another we’d be able to accept love more freely. In reflecting only once the veil of inadequacy, self-talk is removed its then that we can maturely begin to break down those guarded walls of disappointment so we are not attached to outcomes or the physical (human manifestation) because we are incarnated energy. energy that will experience other energies over many life times. 


You see i've had ex-s through out my life try to reconnect after feeling I was a missed opportunity. In this universe there is never a missed opportunity because we are infinite and will experience many lovers, soul connections and ties throughout our many earthly incarnations. Since I’ve had to revisit this lesson in love during this incarnation it’s safe to say I got the lesson. Finally, Angel Number 888 is Self-love which is resolute, is you can understand it you will be blessed with spiritual abundance. Just like the infinity symbol I am forever and to love myself unique quirks and all, to stand for who I am and embrace self-love regardless of whether people come and go. Besides I'm irreplaceable :)  

Routine Serendipity...yes please!

Wednesday. November 25, 2020

I don’t blog as I constantly reiterate in my blog entry openings and as I am typing this, I’m listening to my Pisces sister Jhene Aiko belt out angelic tunes singing, “While we’re young.” This song sounds like music to my soul its serendipitous feeling is definitely a vibe. In the song she says, “think we should do something crazy, like say Fuck everyone and just run away from the daily routine, yeah you know what I mean.” Basically, I have always lived my life through rose colored lenses having a child like quality, humbly enjoying everything as if it were for the first time and often making heart over-head decisions. In life there’s always going to be obligations and experiences that at times are devastating to the point we forget that we are masters of our own fate. Most people can not tap into this type of self-loving, free energy!


There’s a phenomenon happening in the world to date literally. I know you or someone you know has awakened (having self-realizations, authentic glimpses of reality and others self-serving reality). An increase in their vibrational frequency has occurs bringing them in to alignment of the pure white light of higher vibrational frequency. By this I mean that people seem to be having moments where they awaken out of their familiar senses of self, and out of their familiar senses of what the world is, into a much greater reality far beyond anything they knew existed. I enjoy awakening others along my journey with the gift of clairvoyance and psychic alignment. Psychics naturally have a higher vibrational energy, and this is how I was born communicating spirit's energy at a higher frequency than most humans. In terms of heavenly/angelic energy as a medium we are the same, or at least a close to the frequency of theirs. One of the many ways I’ve been able to keep my innerG (energy) fresh and authentic is by allowing myself to just be without observation or self-criticism.


The experiences of awakening differ from person to person but when God wants your attention or to grow spiritually, he will send signs boo. I personally have you gone through experiences that forced me to spiritually grow and emotionally mature. Then I began to notice the whole sense of “self” disappear as I suffered an “Ego death” and I began to appreciate even more the little things, the special people and places that mean more in life in as simple a form as possible. For me my readiness to rage over an injustice seemed unnecessary because it is at this point that I realized I am commanding the room and everything in the presence of my life. Finally, I was able to let go and live just as free as a child as I’d ever had which was invigorating. I was able to accept that expectations led to disappointments and that everything is so uncertain I had to detach myself. It as here that I returned to the Deborah I was before society and critics tried to kill me with criticism that turned in to negative self-talk. To be free of burdens and not wanting for anything attracted everything and this was my new pursuit of happiness and I hope that by reading this you will begin pursuing yours. You may encounter many defeats, but it will only develop courage and the desire for positive change.

Realignment & Revaluation 

Wednesday. November 24th, 2021

Man would you just look at that my last entry was on November 25th, almost a whole year! With just 38 days left until the year 2022. Just when you think everything is going fine in your life…obstacles pop up to ruin things…Maybe it’s a friend you caught on to or your boss being a turd, or ya stale ass family on some bullshit or random bills occur (with zero idea where it came from, how or even why you’re paying it). Then there’s the friend or special person that just starts acting entitled or weird…annoying right?!


Exhausting af! Life feels like an obstacle course — one challenge after another!

I always heard what I’d called hippies, wealthy people, oblivious people and overly religious say, “It didn’t have to be so difficult” so confidently. Let me tell you, it really doesn’t HAVE to be unnecessarily difficult. You don’t have to be all in your head in order to avoid all the obstacles, you need to be prepared so you are READY to tackle any issues head on. Most people don't need a road map because they do what is told, expected or projected on to them. Is this you? (In my best Nigerian voice imitation.)


Observing yourself is the key to your future, by knowing what you’re getting yourself in to before you invest. People have their own identity like a brand, a charisma, and a light capable of inspiring others. Created through a process in which they've learned to accept themselves, with their virtues and defects. They're clear on their priorities and how to achieve their goals in life.

I get the biggest kick out of being my authentic self since, especially around the self touting arrogant because I don’t understand how one cannot be them self naturally; I was born often rejected because if it. My divine gift is to help you to recognize that your soul has great power to instantly transform aspects of your life including the body, because the soul is the very energy that sets your atoms, and therefore your cells, in motion.

When you are out of alignment with your soul path, you experience pain in various forms (remember those obstacles I was rapping to you about back in paragraph 1). This is your soul trying to get you to shift and come into harmony or back into harmony for some (backsliders what they called it in church but since im spiritual and not religious we’ll say you wildin’. Not to say that you will experience a pain-free life when you live completely from your soul (keeping in mind and practice universal laws). As life passes we experience the loss of people and pets we love, creating tears within the body that must be experienced as grief in order for us to move forward. Everyone knows grief or pain makes you grow/mature.


Other than grief, living from your soul perspective there are few things in life that cause either illness or pain. Having pain, illness, or a sense of being lost, exposes you being out of proper alignment because your body is clearing a pattern. Once you shift back into harmony with your soul, amazing and miraculous things will start to happen. You’ll even attract what’s divinely yours!


Monday, December 20th, 2021 Venus goes into retrograde and winter solstice happens on Tuesday, December 21, 2021!